Wedding gifts are always
a touchy subject with the impending bride & groom. In fact,
this subject just came up a few days ago as relayed to me
by an acquaintance.
His friend has a concern about
how would it appear to the guests if she & her future husband
just requested that they be given money only for wedding gifts
(to the value of the gift that was going to be purchased for
You see, they are both well
established 30-something professionals who have all the normal
household trinkets and items that one might expect to get
as wedding gifts. What would be the value in them receiving
extra toasters, blenders, microwaves and bed linen sets when
they already have all these things?
My colleague was remembering
that after his marriage, he and his wife had to give away
quite a few gifts that were duplicates of items they already
had at home, plus some other wedding gifts that they received
multiples of, which seems a big waste (not including a horrible
statue from some unknown friend of a relative which
never saw the light of day thereafter... :) )
One of the normal ways to deal
with the problem of wedding gifts is to use a bridal
registry service, which we offer on True Bride.
However, with regard to the
above-mentioned sticky situation - how to avoid appearing
inappropriate or rude to some guests - I recommended that
she simply add a small flyer in with the wedding
invitation, explaining to guests that she and her husband-to-be
would be most grateful if, rather than buying a wedding gift
for them, that the guest just gave them money to the same
value as the gift the guest would have normally brought. I
further suggested she explain the reasons why she & her man
wanted this (because they already have all the essentials
they need now).
In my opinion, the vast majority
of guests to a wedding would be comfortable doing this as
long as they understood the reasoning behind it. If you've
ever been married before or know someone who has, then you've
probably heard more than a few amusing stories about duplicate
wedding gifts, so the chances are your guests will also be
understanding about this matter.
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